* A spork named Houchou. When you throw it at a monster and it hits, you receive a message "The spork named Houchou bounces off the monster's (body_part). What did you expect, anyway?"
* Polymorphing an artifact gives you a different artifact
* Cursed scrolls of mail might have a virus in them, causing you to become "deathly sick"
* (blank) gnomes. this includes but is not limited to armor gnomes, underpants gnomes, and porn gnomes
* Rewrite nethack in PASCAL
* Falling artifact traps
* Mimic race
* Player dismemberment due to HP loss
* Robot Terminator zombies with lightsabers
* Add more puke
* Wielding a forked wand and walking near water will produce YAFM: "The wand twitches!"
* Partial disintegration rules should include hand-loss from exploding/imploding bags
* Excessively detailed death messages
* Oompa-loompas
* Bunnies and great big iron cauldrons
* NPC orcs should have a 50% chance, upon wielding a non-orcish bladed weapon, of being confused about which end is sharp.
* "Cloak of many pockets", AC depends on weight and material of the items in the pockets, which can be accessed only when worn.
* Engraving Owlbreath should anger Elbereth, with a small chance of her missing you and zotting any monsters around you; elves should be smart enough to flee from an engraving of Owlbreath